you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
