That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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