I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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