This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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