we have pet lesbian snakes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
