I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
