Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
