imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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