Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i came on her dog
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
