I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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