We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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