it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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