Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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