Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
