I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
