thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
