She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
