thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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