No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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