And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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