it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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