Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
