I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
