Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am midnight drunk by noon
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
