Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
