Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
