she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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