Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
