We won't sleep together?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
