my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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