Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
