i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
