its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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