I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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