I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
