therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
