there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
