Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Never joke about your clitoris.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
