i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
