and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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