No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
