Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
