I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
