Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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