ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
