Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
