i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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