I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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