You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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