Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
