Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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