i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Michael Bay diarrhea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
