I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
