What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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