I think my fart just growled at me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
