There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
