the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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